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About Lausanne

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

Featured Local Savings

The neighborhood of Crazy Corners (yeah, we call it that 'cause of the odd little corners and curves) is my playground. Side-street surprises abound. My clients say I’ve got that magic touch because I’m in tune with these vibes. I mean, in a city where every crack speaks a tale, even a back massage feels cosmic—it’s all connected!

VCU Health performs nation’s first fully robotic living donor liver transplant